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Serious Dieting Tips Humorous Explanations
By David Leonhardt

A few months ago I set out to lose 22.6 pounds then to put back on at least half of it.

Huh? Anybody who's ever found herself stuck on a yo-yo diet is probably thinking that I am either crazy or planning way too hard for the inevitable yo-yo heartaches. However my plan is more sneaky than that.

First I want to lose this rubber tire I've been carrying around my waist. Have you ever gotten stuck inside a rubber tire? It's not a pretty site.

Then I want to put back some of that weight in the form of muscle. It's my grand master plan to change my shape from looking like a silly pear to looking like an upside down silly pear.

Will it work?

I think I have the "silly" part figured out. And so far I have lost14.6 pounds but I think I really lost a few more because I have been getting ahead of schedule on adding those muscle pounds.

I would love to tell you what my weight is now but that's very private information. Why should it be so private? I am not 100% certain but I believe it is so that people can easily move between Earth and the Moon without being detected by hidden scales. (Why people keep their age private is the subject of my column on aging gracefully at http://www.thehappyguy.com/aging-gracefully.html .) ...
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